Are you truly listening, or are you just waiting for a turn to speak?
Family dynamics are ever-changing. As with any relationship, good communication is essential for creating strong family connections and bonds. Part of those communication building blocks include listening skills.
Quick Read:
- Good family communication begins with trust and respect; it means respecting the other person enough to listen with intent.
- Teaching your children good listening skills in childhood will stand them in good stead as adults.
- Practise what you preach! As a parent, it’s up to you to model the behaviour you want your child to replicate.
Listen well for better family health
Listening is more than hearing. Some people are naturally adept at remembering the little details, while others may struggle to recall obvious information.
However, those people who are great at the seemingly “small” details still invest time in understanding and genuinely engaging in conversation. This consideration is significant in families, where everyone wants to feel heard.
Within a nurturing and empathetic environment, where family members truly listen to each other, everyone can experience an enhanced bond that can help reduce stress levels and even improve mental health.
Do we really listen?
Probably not as much as we assume. In conversation, many of us simply wait for the pause so that we may respond. Some studies show that on average, most of us listen with a 25% efficiency. So, essentially, we are tuned into the conversation and the ears are hearing sound – but the brain is working to process a response. The outcome? We miss important messages, nuances, tone, and content. This can lead to frustration for the speaker, triggering misunderstanding and arguments.
The ear that listens is the road to the heart. – Malian Proverb
Help at hand – speak less, listen more
In our fast-paced world, it can be challenging to interact thoughtfully. We can (and do) often fall into the trap of “tuning out”. It could be something as simple as nodding and smiling while your mind wanders as your partner talks about their day. It could be as serious as missing an important interaction with your child because you’re focused elsewhere.
Improving your listening skills
- Give every conversation your dedicated attention. Yes, that means not looking at your phone or the TV. Focus solely on the speaker.
- Don’t rush to reply immediately. Take the time to pause and consider your partner or child’s perspective. Be empathetic and open – you want to create a safe space for open dialogue.
- When in doubt – talk it out! Ask questions, show the person that you are actively listening and you are doing your best to prevent miscommunication.
- Children respond well to non-verbal cues, like nodding and smiling. Remember, kids are still developing their verbal skills, so be mindful about using the appropriate body language to engage with them at their level.
One of the simplest ways to be a better communicator is to practise the 80/20 rule. In any conversation, aim to listen 80% of the time and speak only 20% of the time. This balance ensures that everyone feels heard and valued. It’s a meaningful technique that can transform family discussions into opportunities for deeper connection.
Improving your listening skills is worth the effort. It’s a journey that benefits every member of the family. Showing your children that you are willing to listen goes a long way in fostering deep emotional connections, self-esteem, and respect. A healthy listening dynamic creates an environment where everyone feels supported and understood. This is an essential part of the foundation for a healthy, thriving home. So next time you’re in a conversation, pause, listen, and let your family know that their voice matters.
Images: Freepik
